
Over the years I have grown to love my name. Mary the mother of none other than Jesus the Christ. Mary the name of the women at the tomb who wept for Jesus. Mary the name of my Nanny. What have I done with my name?
In the relief society lesson today, we had the priviledge of looking into the life of Mary the mother of Jesus. I learned things I hadn't known before. I felt the spirit of Mary, what it might of been like being the mother of the Son of God. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions of a woman that was probably one of the most righteous and choice spirits in the premortal life. One that was destined to live such the sacred role of His mother. I learned more about life in that time period, the betrothal to Joesph, and how young she was. I didn't know that she was probably only 12-14 years old.
I think about my life at that age. The thought of being engaged, let alone pregnant floors my mind. Then I think of when I was expecting my first born. That was a neat year... knowing it was a son and him being due just before Christmas. I reflected a lot on Mary that year and oh how I couldn't wait to hold my babe in my arms. Yet I was having my child in a clean sterile hospital, in a warm bed with wonderful drugs to ease the pain. I remember the indescribable joy of holding my newborn in my arms. I couldn't help but think of the miracle that just took place. Then comparing that to the way Jesus came into the world, the miracle in the stable.
Mary was mortal and therefore not a perfect mother. However she was probably one of the most perfect mothers, at least that's the way I picture it. Did she ever raise her voice to scold? Did she ever lose her patience? Did she always have healthy meals to feed her family? I think she always turned to Heavenly Father with Faith, knowing He what her purpose was and determined to fulfill it to her best. Jesus was sent to her for a reason, just as I believe each one of my kids was sent to me for a reason. But I can't but ponder on why was I given these children, what is my role, what am I suppose to teach and am I fulfilling it.
I think about my Nanny, Mary, whom I was named after. I remember her as being an elect, respected, beautiful woman. What have I done with my name?
I wish I could take back things I have done and be the mother I have always dreamed of being. This holiday season, it is my goal to from here on out strive to remember the Mary's in my life and be more like them while I try to live the life that I was sent to do.